Blog #10 Top Ten Reasons Why PennDOT should track me down and destroy my driver’s license!

Blog #10  Top Ten Reasons Why PennDOT should track me down and destroy my driver’s license!

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It’s been over a month since I’ve written a blog, so this one better be good!  For those of you that know me, you probably know that I am not that good of a driver.  I don’t really like driving, and I readily admit that PennDOT made a big mistake in 1986 when they gave me a driver’s license!  Here are 10 reasons why I probably should not be allowed to drive the roads of PA.

1) The reason I thought of this topic is because yesterday, I was talking on my cell phone driving down 79, went right past my exit (which is not that big of a deal, it’s happened before), but I didn’t realize it until 2 exits later!  So the whole invention of the cell phone has hindered my driving in a big way.

2) Speaking of cell phones, I made a pledge to Oprah Winfrey a couple of years ago that I would not text while driving.  And I pretty much don’t.  Unless I’m stopped.  Or going under 30 mph.

3) I do have a depth perception problem.  This has been evidenced by my accidentally bumping into cars in front of me at the McDonald’s drive-thru.  This has happened more than once, that is how I know that it is a true medical issue, and not just lack of attention.

4) Speaking of a lack of attention, I have also diagnosed myself with adult attention deficit disorder (AADD).  This too causes challenges while I’m driving.  Driving the wrong way down a one-way street, for example, can be attributed to AADD.

5) There was the time a couple of years ago I ran over a mattress on the parkway.  That could NOT be avoided.  It was the mattress or the median or the car next to me. 

6) I have driven with the emergency brake on, as I’m sure so many of you have.  There should be some kind of mechanism in the car that does not allow you to go into Drive with the emergency brake on.

7) I have a very weird obsession to get my gas tank as low on gas as possible.  It is very exciting driving on Empty, and then you have that moment at the gas station when you realize you just filled your 22 gallon gas tank with 23.4 gallons! (that is my personal record!)  My husband does not like this habit of mine, especially when he has to drive my car. 

8) We all knew early on that driving would not be my strong suit (unlike singing! haha!).  At my first driver’s licence exam, the very last thing my dad told me before I got in the car for the test was “When you pull out of the parallel parking lot, make sure you stay on the right side of the road.” Sure enough, when I pulled out of my parallel parking test, I started driving down the left side of the ride.  The tester told me to stop the car.  I refused, and told him it was dangerous to stop in the middle of the road, and I continued driving to the stop sign.  At that time, he told me what I did wrong.  At the end, I asked him if I passed, and I’m pretty sure he chuckled.  My dad made me drive home, even though I was sobbing hysterically, and when I entered a construction zone on route 19, I put on cruise control at 35 mph.  I think my driving skills still amaze him to this day.

9) I drive in my neighbor’s yard almost daily, but that is because my driveway is narrow! 

10) The last reason is this habit I have with driving along with the songs on the radio.  I will drive slowly with a slow song, and super fast with a fast song!  Some people find this annoying and odd, but I think it’s a sign of my strong rhythm and musical talent!

So, PennDOT, good luck finding me in the SHKNBAK!  (That is my  license plate, from Talledega Nights, Shake and bake, baby!)

God speed to all of you out there on the roads with me!

Have a great day!

~Kacey

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